In loving memory

I apologize for the delay in my post. We had another loss in the family and I've been dealing with that and the feelings it brought back to me. In memory of those I've lost in the last year and a half.

"Uncle" Pat - July 2012

Pat passed away a little over a year ago.  She was an amazing woman, and my sister-in-law.  When my children were little they couldn't keep Aunt and Uncle straight. So they called her "Uncle" Pat and her husband "Aunt".  The moniker stuck and from that point forward she was Uncle Pat to every kid around her. She was my husbands best friend and confidant and her loss for him was much like the loss of my mother was for me.  Their childhood was not ideal and they only really had each other to lean on.  Through trials and separations they remained close.  She helped hubby through the loss of their brother. His first and closest friend, the one he'd been through everything with. And then she came back into his life again shortly before the death of their father.  She was his rock, and mine too. She had a quick smile and an even faster wit. She doted on her grandson and kept us all laughing with her silly jokes.  And we miss her greatly.

Uncle Danny - September 2013

Maybe you recognize the lady in this picture. That is my Aunt and her husband Danny. I swear that woman amazes me with her strength. After losing my mother barely three months ago her husband died suddenly.  Uncle Danny had fought a long illness and one of my biggest regrets is that I didn't visit them more often.  I remember him much younger than this, with curly blond hair. They had bought my cousin a horse for something, her birthday maybe? And he was trying to "break" it. I can see him clear as day in my mind. On the back of that horse and it bucking wildly. In my memory I'm laughing at the sight. But I don't remember if I was actually laughing at the time or just terrified that he was going to get killed. He didn't, and he did tame the horse.   I remember us going to their house once because they had a pig we were going to slaughter. I remember bits of this, not an entire picture.  I remember seeing a bunch of grown men chase a pig around the yard because it had escaped. Or maybe it was in the pen. I'm really not sure. But it's a funny memory and still makes me smile. When I think of Uncle Danny that's how I'll remember him, wild and free. He always made me think he stepped out of some macho movie. He was Chuck Norris to me before I knew who Chuck Norris was.   I thought he could do anything.

Mama - June 2013

What can I say about mama that I haven't said already? I miss her so terribly bad. I look at pictures of her and I cry. Because I can't go sit and chat with her. I try not to think about it. My way of dealing with the entire situation is just to pretend it did not happen. And then there are those moments when I am forced to face the facts. And they are hard. I swallow the lump in my throat and force myself not to think. To not fall into this abyss that is looming at my feet. I know she is in a better place. I know that she is no longer in pain, and she was in so much pain. I know that she is no longer short of breath or struggling in any way. I want her here. I want her to be better here with me.

The one crappy part about life is that sooner or later you have to say goodbye to the people you love. Whether it be saying goodbye to a loved one who has gone on before you. Or maybe your time is looming and you're saying your final goodbyes.   The only thing that keeps me going is the knowledge that one day we'll meet again in heaven. By the grace of God and the forgiveness of Christ Jesus, one day...

Could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy; and you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields. ~ Khalil Gibran