The Two Year Plan

A little over a year ago several things in my life changed at once.  I can't even remember right now what all of them were, but I remember feeling completely out of control. I felt like my entire life was just a huge mess and that I couldn't do anything about it.  I remembered that once upon a time I had dreams, goals. I had plans. And I wondered where that girl had went. The one with all of the spunk who was going to conquer the world. Or at least her corner of it.

Part of the problem was growing older. At some point during my life I became convinced that only children and young people had the right to dream. That if you were past 30 then your life was set in stone and couldn't be changed. But when I had this, well... mid-life crisis, if you will, I realized that I was being silly. Why couldn't I do some of those things I had always wanted to do when I was younger.  I had my first child when I was 17-years-old.  I never went to college or traveled. And I always wanted to do both of those. So I started thinking, what do I want from my life.  And I came up with a few goals.

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1. Lose weight - It is significant that this is my first goal, and not just random.  My other goals all hinge on this one. Why?  I've told you a bit about my weight loss battle.  My health has already declined some. Because I am older, of course it will.  But it isn't just that. I'm not comfortable with how I look. When I am out in public I always think everyone is looking at me thinking "God look at her, she's huge." Because honestly I feel that way. It doesn't matter if it is or isn't true, it's how I feel. So without getting in shape, I know I would never feel comfortable doing the other things on my list.

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2. Go back to school - When I was 17 I wanted to be a lawyer, or a paralegal.  I wasn't sure if I wanted to work hard enough to be a lawyer. And being a paralegal would be the next best thing. At least to my mind it would. (Yes, I've always been lazy)  I thought long and hard when I decided I wanted to go back to school about why I wanted to go back. If I was just going back to get the experience of going to college, then I could go for anything. But if I was going back for a reason, then what was it?  After a little thought I settled on going back to become a certified Pharmacy Technician.  My husband takes many different medicines and I've always thought it would be nice to know what they are, what they're for, etc.   And I know this job would pay well enough to help me accomplish my other two goals.  The next step was when. My youngest child will graduate from school in June. Which means my babies are now grown and will be starting their own lives.  But I babysit my nephews, and my sister depends on me. It would be really hard to go to school and still babysit. I work really long hours because she does. In August of 2014 my youngest nephew will start school. I decided that was as good a time as any for me to go back. Once the kids start school it shouldn't be hard to find someone to pick them up after.  

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3. Fix my house - Maybe you're thinking to yourself, why is this a goal and not something you're already working on? Well the answer is simple, children.  My husband has just recently found a job where we can afford to start doing repairs to our home. We have three children and we decided years ago that we wanted me to be able to stay home with the kids. I have worked many jobs over the years to supplement our income, but never for long because I felt, and my husband supported me, that my place was raising our children.  So being that he was the sole breadwinner renovating the home was pretty low on our to do list.  Now that the kids are grown we're starting to completely renovate it, inside and out.  

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4. Travel - And last but surely not the least is traveling.  My hearts desire is to travel. It has been as long as I can remember. I want to go to Ireland and see where my ancestors roamed. I have friends that I have made all over the world that I would love to meet. I just want to see as much of this world as I can before I leave it.  And I can't think of any better way to spend the rest of my life than traveling. Hubby and I are going on a cruise. I'll finally woman up and get on an airplane.  Heck we will probably even take the kids along some if they want to go and can. I'm already planning all the wonderful trips I'll take with my husband. What is that song? The futures so bright I gotta wear shades?  That's how I feel when I think about traveling. 

I once heard John Tesh talk about the top 5 regrets people have on their deathbeds. The number one regret was: "I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me." I spent the first 35 years of my life living the life others expected of me. The rest of the time I have is mine.  I don't want to waist a minute.